Failures

I can't recall which student leader mentioned it, but the topic of failures really got me thinking of just how valuable those experiences are. She briefly commented about the importance of acknowledging your failures and being able to talk about them to others proudly--not to be shameful of them.

Up until now, I didn't see it that way. I never saw it as a negative experience, even though I may have been upset about it, but there's no way it would've ever crossed my mind that failures are beneficial.

Just as I've found that testing the waters and doing things out of your comfort zone help you to grow, failures do so in a similar way. Not only do you gain your experience of going through the process of "trying out" for whatever it might be so that you can look back and learn from it (what could I have done differently? What will I change next time?), but you personally have to deal with failure. A friendly reminder that we're human. But at least for me, I know that getting over it isn't that simple, especially when you put a lot of time into something, give it your all.

It's about not being afraid of rejection, not feeling vulnerable. Putting yourself out there and giving it your all takes guts. Not being ashamed of rejection takes even more.

I have a funny feeling that we'll be experiencing more rejections that victories in life (assuming you push yourself and put yourself out there). The sooner we learn how to deal with it and turn it positively, the better.

Live for the Present or the Future (only partly)?

Okay, so I was in bed but I had a sudden urge to write something on the blog so I got up. (It's not true.)

So anyway, we talked about how present is the only "real" thing out of past, present and future and therefore we should all live in the present.

I generally agree with the point: We should all be living in the present. In the end, you don't really know when you're going to die and you don't want to leave any regrets. (Let's just get the past out of the way. I don't think we should really dwell on the past at all, apart from learning from it, although it's pretty hard sometimes and I do it all the time.)

But a part of me wants to say sometimes you have to endure whatever you don't like in the present for the future. I think people have a tendency to do what's pleasant, quick and easy for the present. That's certainly the case for me which have caused me much trouble in life. (Or maybe I shouldn't be attending UVa with this kind of mindset?)

If living in the present means only doing what's enjoyable in the present, I don't feel like this is the best way to tackle life at all because yes it is pleasant for now, but it's pretty obvious you'll suffer in the end like I did and do.

But what fascinates me is that in the today's talk as well as in life in general, there are "successful" people who say: "Yeah, the door opened up to me as I went along." I guess that's the ideal case of living in the present working out for the future.

So I guess my question is:

How should you live your present so that you don't have any regrets behind, but things work out for the future in the end?

Or more broadly:

Do you agree/disagree (at least partly) about living for the present alone?

Any comments are welcome.

Cheers,

Yongjin

I do not consider myself a controversial person in the least, so this post is going to be a challenge for me.

Sometimes I swear. Sometimes I swear a lot. Sometimes I don't think that there's a word better than "damn" to express what I'm feeling. Sometimes "crap" doesn't cut it. Yeah, there's a time and place for everything, and when cursing isn't appropriate, I would not recommend doing so [out loud] -- BUT, under appropriate circumstances, I sometimes find myself at a loss for better word than "shit".

I don't know how else to disclaim my post other than: I'm sorry if I offend any one...I don't condone swearing?

On what is probably a more controversial note: I need to leave Newcomb early tonight...and I apologize for my lack of a blog post last meeting -- I totally blanked.

Acknowledging Your Weaknesses

The example in the book about Rudy, to me somewhat leaves out an important factor. There is no question he is not the best football player in the world, and that perhaps his time can be better spent elsewhere. However, maximizing productivity using the talents we naturally have ignores the idea that we do not enjoy doing what we can do well. There are certainly numerous statistics showing that employees enjoy their jobs better when they are doing something they are good at, but in the case of Rudy he followed his passion. We may not all be the best at what we want to be, but if we acknowledge that there is no reason we cannot follow that path despite that. True, it may not be the most efficient use of our time, but efficiency should not take precedence over that which we want to do.

This reminds me of another example I heard along these lines from one of my professors. A student of hers wanted to be an artist, but she was not very talented in this area. Instead of giving up, she worked hard to cultivate some kind of artistic talent. She now waits tables in New York and only occasionally has her pieces displayed in small galleries. There is no doubt she would be more successful doing something else, but she is happy.

The last session was all about being satisfied with a half full glass and building upon that to fill the entire glass. I thought it was an interesting theory because while analyzing ourselves, we often feel it is important to assess our strengths and weaknesses, and build upon our weaknesses and not our strengths. While I believe there is nothing wrong in doing so, it makes more sense to effectively utilize what we have rather than what we do not have; it is basically an efficient means of using our talents. If we instead start focusing on developing more strengths and do not give full attention to the ones we already have, we don't do justice to them. And remember, 'what you don't use, you lose'.

Communcation Speaker

Our second speaker, Marcia Pentz, was outstanding. I was blown away by her effectiveness in each and every word she said. Comparing it to our first speaker, who at the time I thought was decent, there's no comparison. Not did Marcia make me want to listen to her (which is a difficult task, when it's 6pm on a Wednesday) but my eyes were glued onto her and I couldn't wait to hear what she was going to say next. Her points were substantial and helpful, and I felt that when I walked out of the room I had learned quite a bit. I wasn't too crazy about the activities we did, but I did appreciate the time to stand up, stretch, and take part in the the speech. Hands down the best speaker yet, including our third session--for me, it'll be hard to top her. I loved (although not having to do it at the time) how she made us make a 60s, 30s, and 1 sentence gist of our main activity--genius. Now, I'm finally noticing how often those come in handy....on a daily basis, truly. No longer am I sloshing through that. First impressions of your organization are crucial when it comes to recruiting other students to take part.

Session 2 - Strength Finders

I just want to comment for feedback. I feel like the results from Strength Finders are accurate in the sense that we are presented with the results, try to convince ourselves that we are somewhat like what we are presented with, and then believe it in the end. We are, by no means, limited to our five qualities, but the labels seem to restrict us. I don't think it's a good indication; I sort of think it's unnecessary.

happiness, expectations and performance

Something for the group to consider:

For most people ...

Expectations has a positive relationship with Performance (i.e. the higher you expect to achieve, the higher the likelihood of greater achievement; conversely, if you have low expectations, your achievement will likely match)

Expectations has a negative relationship with Happiness (i.e. happiness comes from meeting or exceeding expectations. if expectations are set low, much easier to be happy. If your sole expectations were to have food and a warm bed, you'd likely be happier than having expectations of all As and perfection)

Where is the optimum level of expectations, one that optimizes both performance and happiness?

accrochez votre char a une etoile

There is a picture of a starfish lying on a beach. The caption reads: just because you think you're a star, doesn't mean you're going anywhere.

Another poster has a picture of a snowflake: Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

I'm curious about the dichotomy of maturity and immaturity, or seriousness and frivolity. Clearly there are those among us who take ourselves far too seriously. Equally, there are many among us who take very little seriously. Where is the balance between being forward thinking, achievement-centered and tight-lipped on one side, and realizing the ridiculousness of our situation on the other.

A third poster has a picture of fries: Not everyone gets to be an astronaut.

How do you find the balance between bacchanalian frivolity, detached passivity and ambitious purpose?

To be Strength, or to be Weakness?

Firstly, sorry about the lack of posts from me!
So, session 3. Strength "finder."
I actually agreed with all of my themes, especially because they were loaded with what i'm generally known for, like positivity and someone who is able to listen and empathise. From the questions that were asked, I feel like I need to work on being an 'achiever'; however, i've actually already started doing that from the start of the semester through a variety of ways. Hopefully it'll work - we'll see!

It was actually a great idea on Donald Clifton's part to come up with focusing on strengths. As someone pointed out during the discussion parts of the presentation, we never think to focus on our strengths because we've always been told that we can improve our weaknesses and get better at that rather than carry on 'being good' at something. I think that focusing on my strengths is something i've ignored academically, but not otherwise. I've noticed that i've played my strengths (my themes) to my advantage when it comes to activities and organisations that i'm involved in, but but with my classes - which I now admit is a problem.

I disagreed with the fact that you shouldn't still focus on your weaknesses. As they say "practice makes perfect" and this definitely rings true. Try memorising french verbs, or practicing a sonata on the piano - it takes time and effort. You can't just give up simply because it is not one of your strengths. Perhaps the idea was that you just have to keep in mind you'll never be working to your maximum efficiency if you don't focus, and specialise in an area of strength.

Peace out :)

This Week's Topic

As a reminder, for your blog posts this week, try and make a controversial post about a topic you are passionate about, if possible, with a connection to leadership and whatnot. The goal is to put a thought out there that you're willing to defend that others might disagree with, so that at our next meeting we can get some stimulating debates going. To make a post, you must first click 'sign in' on the top right hand corner of the blog homepage, then from your dashboard, click 'new post' under the Blueprint Weekly Blog. If this isn't working out, just make your post as a comment to this post.

Last week's speaker taught us that while Public Speaking is an innate art, we can all improve by following a few simple steps such as self awareness, eye contact and various other gestures. Overall, it was also interesting that while most of us think of Public Speaking as a rigid technique, we have to alter our way of speaking depending on the audience and the duration of our speech. I would like to summarize what she taught us, in three points:
- Know who you will be talking to.
- Know how you will be talking to them.
- Know what you want them to get from your talk.

Meeting, The Second

Marcia Pentz definitely made me pay attention to what she was saying, and kept the audience engaged the entire time. One of her point was that leaders must lead by example, and she did just that. Her talk was so effective because she was utilizing the same public speaking techniques she was talking about, which really drove each of her points home. I especially liked how she pointed out that every time you speak, you are doing public speaking. This is particularly important to remember when you are a leader, because you become the image of an organization. As soon as you are an icon, you are a subject to be judged and everyone who sees or hears you will be evaluating you and, by association, your organization. It is easy to forget this when you are not at a podium or in a meeting, and thus a lot of people lose the esteem of others just by a careless comment in an informal setting- you never know who is listening and what might offend them.

Decision Making

This past summer, I read I book called Blink, by Malcom Gladwell. In this book Gladwell describes the hidden power of the adaptive unconcious. Basically, many researches (psychologists and behavior economists) have found that humans have an uncanny ability to make quick, rapid-fire decisions little background information. Surprisingly, the adaptive unconscious works miraculously well. In one study, researchers showed three, ten-second clips of teachers lecturing to random students. The students were asked to rate the quality of the teacher, and, despite seeing the teacher interact in just half a minute, the ratings were almost identical to those made by students who had the teacher for an entire course. Later on, a two-second clip was shown to a second group, and even their ratings were almost identical to those of the teacher's students!

This idea has relevance in leadership because everyday, leaders make important decisions. From CEOs in the boardroom to coaches on the b-ball court, leaders make key choices to ensure success, often with little time to spare. In Blink, Gladwell argues that intuitive, instinctual thinking is just as important as logical, calculated reasoning. In this era of technology, with instant feedback and results, I believe this assertion rings true now more than ever. What are your thoughts?

Session 1 - Teresa A. Sullivan

The most enjoyable part about our first large group meeting was the biography that I received on Teresa A. Sullivan. I had no idea of her except for the fact that she is our president next year. Now that I am knowledgeable about who she is precisely, I am more than proud that she will be representing me and my fellow student body of the University of Virginia. She is an admirable woman. The qualities that the speaker revealed about Mrs. Sullivan impressed me. I like that she can be the "least threatening person alive" but still "gracefully aggressive" at the same time. She seems very personable and understanding, and I would love to see her on grounds and actually relay my concerns or thoughts to her.

The speaker's advice about how to become an effective leader resonates to this day. It motivates me to practice and reinforce my leadership skills throughout the days, even when I am not explicitly in a leadership position.